Ruined

I used to think that my life was ruined because of the abuse I suffered as a child. But now I'm just ruined for Jesus. . .let me explain.

Today was my chance to share during the Sunday worship services at my church about my time away. I could have talked about YWAM and DTS; or about traveling and all the wonderful people I met along the way. But today was the most difficult (I procrastinated preparing until yesterday), because I knew that it was time to talk about ME and MY life. And that's SO much harder in front of people that you know - many who have see me grow up in front of their eyes.

It's hard to speak one's truth, especially when you've been hurt and have hurt others along the way. To have my family in the audience as I talked about the abuse I had kept a secret for so long and, even worse than that, the unforgiveness that consumed my life thereafter. But that is my truth. It's what makes me who I am today. There was another guy who shared this morning about his ministry in New York City: "When you CONNECT with the love of Christ, you're RUINED." Normal is not normal anymore and routine is not routine. It's not about doing another "Christian" thing that looks right to everyone else. It's about being compelled to go out and serve because God's love is overflowing in your own life and you can't help but to share it with others.

So I'm ruined and life will never be the same. Christ has poured his love into my life and it does not matter where I live or what I do, as long as I'm living out His love for others. And when you finally experience this kind of transformation in your life, you just can't go back - there's no settling. When you know there's more and better and richer and deeper in God's plans, who could want anything else? Ruined.

Our Family Christmas

My youngest brother Lee finally made it home today, braving the snow, wind and icy roads from Saskatoon and so we had our family Christmas this evening. Supper was chicken, mashed potatoes and stuffing.

My mom read a Christmas story after the meal and then I started with my gifts from South Africa. We also enjoyed some biltong (which made it through many x-ray machines and customs officials!) - a bit of an acquired taste, at least with the wild game. The desserts and chocolates are always in huge supply.

Every Christmas is a little different for our family because of my mom's work schedule as a nurse. When we were kids, we got to open 1 gift on Christmas Eve, after the church Christmas concert. On Christmas Day, we went through our stockings first before opening up gifts. My favorite Christmas memory was when I was about 6 and I had told my cousin that I KNEW I was getting a Cabbage Patch doll because of the shape of one of my presents. When Christmas FINALLY arrived, I was indeed correct and my Cabbage Patch was by far my favorite doll for many years!

Trying to Change the World Changes You

I send out the warmest and merriest wishes for a blessed Christmas celebration to all my friends and family - those I've known my entire life, those who just recently walked into my life, and all of those in between! To have peace on earth would be the ultimate of Christmas gifts, but until then, I wish for you to change your world and to make an impact on your community in this new year. In stepping out and doing something - anything - the most surprising part is when you realize that YOU'VE changed even more than you've caused change around you.

An article (same title as today's blog) in yesterday's Winnipeg Free Press said: "When I first signed up, it didn't dawn on me that in helping others, I would change. I didn't expect I would meet people I would consider to be my second family. Nor did I think I would become impassioned about about the plight of people living in poverty and the social issues that go along with that." (To see the full article: http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/trying-to-change-the-world-changes-you-80048402.html) All because she volunteered at a local food bank. So go out and try to change the world because you are guaranteed to be transformed yourself!

A Lesson in Trust & Patience

I've been home for about 1.5 weeks now - my clock has almost turned over, my stomach is hungry at the appropriate times and I'm almost ok with the cold (almost!). The million dollar question continues to be: "now what?" I graciously state that I don't know what 2010 has in store for me yet, but I know that God is working. And so I continue to learn to trust and have patience in the process, knowing that God's timing is perfect.

I can always do some substitute teaching, but to do that I need a vehicle, living in the country and all (our nearest neighbour is 1/2 mile away). Yesterday my parents and I were trying to figure things out in regard to money and a vehicle. "God if there's another option that we're just not seeing, we need you to show it to us." I had been checking school division websites and there were not really any suitable job opportunities for me. . .until yesterday! And so now I'm calling on all of you to pray. I just want to be where God wants me to be. If it's at home subbing, great. If it's working at one of these term positions, great as well. I just don't want to take another step in my life without God's blessing to go along with it.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I was really hoping to donate my hair to a charity that makes wigs for people who have lost theirs due to cancer treatments, but my hairdresser (and friend) Denita said that it was too dry - too much summer sun this year! I chopped it anyway and really like the new do! What do you think?

Wanted: ORDINARY SUPERHEROES

I know I've talked about it before, but as we approach this Christmas season, I want to urge you to consider sponsoring a child in need. I have sponsored a girl from Ecuador through Compassion for about 5 years now and God has always provided the ~$1 a day it takes to make a difference in her life, the life of her family and of her community. Go through whatever organization you choose, but JUST DO IT!

I was readying the Compassion Today magazine I received in the mail and a man named Tim Challies talked about his experience going to visit the Dominican Republic with Compassion (and he was not sponsoring a child at this time). He wrote: "My superhero. It was not the only time in this journey that we heard these words. For all the talk of the extraordinary men and women who have made such a difference in the lives of children, when I went to the homes of the girls and they proudly showed off the letters and photos they had received, the sponsors, whether from America or New Zealand or anywhere else, looked awfully ordinary to me. And I guess this is what these children are looking for. They aren't looking for the rich and the famous, the notorious or the renowned. They are looking for ordinary people to play an extraordinary role in their lives, so badly in need of help. They're looking for a few ordinary superheroes."

Today's your chance to be an ordinary superhero! I promise that you will not be disappointed!

And the Winner is. . .

Joanne!! She travelled 3 hours to come out to my afternoon presentation today. And she did weigh it first - 3 hours one direction, listen to LaDawn speak for 1 hour and then 3 hours back. Little did she know that I would speak for almost 2 hours!! So many stories to tell and pictures to share. Thanks to her and all the other people who took time out of their busy Christmas schedules to hear what is on my heart (and yes, there were a few tears!).

Radio Interview with CFAM

My media manager (aka - my dad) bumped into one of the announcers of our local radio station in Altona yesterday. I have an interview tomorrow morning at 7:30 am (again, 3:30 pm Monday in South Africa). Locally, it is 950 AM, but they also have a live web feed at: http://goldenweststreaming.com/cfam_player/index.html

Perogies & Farmer Sausage

One of my first meals back home is one of my favorites! It is also a Mennonite specialty - cottage cheese perogies and farmer sausage. A perogy is a dough pocket filled with cottage cheese (or other possibilities like potatoe, blueberries, apple), which is dry - unlike the kind you can buy at the grocery store. We cover them in cream gravy - totally unhealthy, but oh, so good! Farmer sausage is a pork product and its grease (from frying) is used to make the gravy.

A Face to the Voice

LONG before the light of day, my mom and I hit the flat and straight Manitoba highways into Winnipeg at around 6 am, arriving with a bit of time before my 7:30 live interview on CHVN. Since I'm such a pro at interviews already (whatever!), the few minutes I was given had to be optimized. I briefly talked about my experiences in general and gave out information for my time of sharing happening on Monday (1:30 & 7:00 pm at the Altona EMMC). I was also able to sit down with another announcer, Colleen, for an interview that will be broadcast in the near future. She is the one who interviewed me from Panama this summer (winter for South Africa) and it was so great to finally have a face to the voice over the phone!

Reversed Roles

It's really interesting. . .while away, I blogged for the people back home, posted pictures of all the new things I was experiencing. Now I'm back home and I'm thinking about all the people I have left and I want to blog for them and post pictures of all the 'old' things back home. I love my home and the prairies - I think you have to be born here to really appreciate the land. And I always love flying into Winnipeg and seeing the patchwork quilt of farmers' fields, but I've never taken pictures. Flying in on Monday, I was enjoying the view, trying to pick out familiar buildings and I quickly pulled out my camera. When I said Manitoba was flat, I meant FLAT, with a nice blanket of snow for a white Christmas. Does it look cold, cause it is!!

Live Interview with CHVN

I am scheduled to have a brief live interview with my local Christian radio station on Friday, December 18 at around 7:30 am (which is 3:30 pm SA time for those of you who are interested and are already missing my voice!). Locally it will be 95.1 FM, and online you can check out their live feed at:
http://goldenweststreaming.com/chvn_player/index.html

The Best Part

In between all the unpacking and laundry, enjoying 'regular' food and thinking I have a whole new wardrobe, I got to the best part of my day. I left my guitar behind in Kona in July and that was part of the reason I detoured through on my way home. There was a guitar at the church in Panama and at the house in South Africa, but they were not my guitar. I haven't even played that long and I'm surprised that I should notice such difference between guitars, but I did. So, after a lot of tuning, I enjoyed plucking a few tunes on my guitar and it was wonderful!

Home Sweet Freezing Cold Home!

I just want to let everyone know that I have made it home safely with all my luggage!! I also want to advise you that a 7-day (2 Dec. 12's!) journey home is NOT recommended. It's really not that fun at all. Oh, I can say that I've been in Sydney, Auckland, Honolulu, LA - been there, but not seen anything! I was not given the chance to ease into the cold air - we deplaned right onto the tarmac in Winnipeg at -21 degrees Celsius (plus windchill, which I will describe in better detail on another day's blog)!