I've been seeing my counselor for just over a year now. There has been a lot of growth in that time - both through positive changes and through many struggles. I've looked at the way I act and, just as importantly, how I react. One of the first things my counselor told me was that the hardest thing is to know yourself and she is right.
It's frustrating to know things in your head, but not have them transfer into your heart, into your being. One of the hardest things for me is not to live under other people's expectations. My head knows that, but at the end of the day, my heart has not grasped that concept yet. To look at myself in the mirror and try to figure out what it is that I want in my life and who I want to be, ignoring what everyone else says, is a challenge. To be the person God designed me to be, not the one that others think I should be. In short, I'm just trying to find me.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Bangladesh Garment Factory Fire
Check out the following article about a fire in a Bangladesh garment factory and please consider where your purchases are coming from, especially this holiday season:
www.winnipegfreepress.com/world/at-least-8-killed-scores-hurt-after-fire-races-through-garment-factory-in-bangladesh-180695091.html
www.winnipegfreepress.com/world/at-least-8-killed-scores-hurt-after-fire-races-through-garment-factory-in-bangladesh-180695091.html
Monday, November 19, 2012
Your Whole Life
The other day I posted a link about a Sojourners article that featured a presentation that Bono made at Georgetown University. If you scrolled down to the very bottom, it included the YouTube video of the presentation. I had some time (or made the time!) to watch it over the weekend and would recommend that you do the same. He talks for about an hour (if you skip over the introduction speeches) and it's moving.
"And I'm here to tell you that your heart is not the most important thing - it helps - but your heart is not going to solve these problems. If your heart hasn't found a rhyme with your head, we're not going to get anywhere. It's not charity that fires us at the ONE campaign or at RED - it's justice. That's what inflames us. And justice is a higher, tougher standard. . .In truth, if you want to turn the world right-side up, it's not going to take a minute or an hour or a day - it's going to take your whole life." ~Bono
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Oh Our Lord ~ Paul Baloche
Normally, if I really like a song, I find the lyrics and post them here. We've only sung this song for 2 weeks in church (and I'm hoping today again!), but I just can't get it out of my system. And I don't think you'll get the whole effect without the music, so check out the video:
Saturday, November 17, 2012
God in a Brothel
I just finished reading the book God in a Brothel. An incredibly hard read as it takes you into the fight against human trafficking from an undercover perspective. It was very candid and certainly should make anyone reading it, sit up and take notice. I really appreciated Daniel Walker's style of writing - he went back and forth from his missions to his own personal journey, including pages of pertinent facts about issues surrounding trafficking (for example, corruption, the internet, pedophiles, aftercare, etc). He wrote from his Christian background, which is not as perfect as some may believe before they start reading - I commend him for his honesty, which I'm sure was difficult, reliving about 4 years of his life as he wrote the book. Here are a few quotes from the book:
"I noticed that many of the older girls, twelve and thirteen years old, had lost all life in their eyes. They appeared to be in a trance or under some kind of dark magician's spell. They moved with a slow resignation; no amount of smiling, warmth or kindness on my part could draw them out. The systematic and prolonged sexual abuse of children and young people is perhaps the very worst crime against humanity because, as I saw day after day, it strips them of their heart and soul. It murders the person but leaves their bodies alive." (p. 89)
"With a mission to fearlessly expose evil and rescue those oppressed and enslaved, the church has been called to be the perfect abolitionist." (p. 130)
"Our [the church's] message has little credibility while we remain afraid, indifferent and inactive in the face of human slavery occurring in our own backyard.
Sadly, as I reflected on this, I realized that the fear that I carried into the very first brothel I visited was a fear I learned in the church. It is there we learn to fear our sinful nature. We learn to be suspicious of the world, and we fear those who may threaten or harm us or our families. We tend to either fear evil or trivialize it. And perhaps most daunting for the Western church, we fear failure. In a culture governed by management ideals and pragmatic strategies for success, a willingness to live faithfully before God no matter what the circumstances, costs or outcomes is especially challenging." (p. 131 - 132)
"The worship lyrics of most modern churches are often inserted into a PowerPoint image depicting the beauty of nature or the majesty of the universe. How would our worship change if we used images of imprisoned slaves instead? What would happen if we stopped asking to see God in heaven and instead asked to see him in the eyes of prostituted children? What would happen if in the face of the very worst forms of depravity and evil in the world Christians walked in the knowledge that they are the dangerous ones and the ones to be feared?" (p. 135)
"I noticed that many of the older girls, twelve and thirteen years old, had lost all life in their eyes. They appeared to be in a trance or under some kind of dark magician's spell. They moved with a slow resignation; no amount of smiling, warmth or kindness on my part could draw them out. The systematic and prolonged sexual abuse of children and young people is perhaps the very worst crime against humanity because, as I saw day after day, it strips them of their heart and soul. It murders the person but leaves their bodies alive." (p. 89)
"With a mission to fearlessly expose evil and rescue those oppressed and enslaved, the church has been called to be the perfect abolitionist." (p. 130)
"Our [the church's] message has little credibility while we remain afraid, indifferent and inactive in the face of human slavery occurring in our own backyard.
Sadly, as I reflected on this, I realized that the fear that I carried into the very first brothel I visited was a fear I learned in the church. It is there we learn to fear our sinful nature. We learn to be suspicious of the world, and we fear those who may threaten or harm us or our families. We tend to either fear evil or trivialize it. And perhaps most daunting for the Western church, we fear failure. In a culture governed by management ideals and pragmatic strategies for success, a willingness to live faithfully before God no matter what the circumstances, costs or outcomes is especially challenging." (p. 131 - 132)
"The worship lyrics of most modern churches are often inserted into a PowerPoint image depicting the beauty of nature or the majesty of the universe. How would our worship change if we used images of imprisoned slaves instead? What would happen if we stopped asking to see God in heaven and instead asked to see him in the eyes of prostituted children? What would happen if in the face of the very worst forms of depravity and evil in the world Christians walked in the knowledge that they are the dangerous ones and the ones to be feared?" (p. 135)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
"There is no them. Only us." ~Bono
My friend Teresa forwarded me the following link. . .I hope that you'll find it as inspirational as I did:
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
There are Moments. . .
There are moments when we wish it would slow down, and others when it couldn't speed up fast enough. It's certainly something we have no control over: time. When we want time to stand still so we can enjoy this moment just a little more. Or when it ticks so slowly that we're certain the hands of time have forgotten that they're not allowed to ever stop. Perhaps wishing we could go back in time to relive a past memory or wanting to jump ahead to the future. But we can't - all we have is this very second in time. When life is good and we want to savor each minute, or maybe we're hoping that time really will heal the wounds. Love it or hate it, time just keeps ticking away. So on this, the eve of my 34th birthday, I'm taking some time. . .
"We need time to dream,
time to remember &
time to reach the infinite.
Time to be."
~Gladys Taber
Sunday, November 11, 2012
A Poppy
I really appreciated the following article from The Winnipeg Free Press. For me, as a Mennonite and a pacifist, there's always been a struggle around Remembrance Day. Certainly, not something addressed in church from the pulpit (at least not in my lifetime). That was different this year because the church that I'm currently attending (which, by the way, is still Mennonite) and also Rob, a friend of mine. Somewhere over the course of this past year we talked about Remembrance Day and the line that he said that stayed with me was this: "No one who has ever gone to fight in a war, wants war to happen again - that's part of the reason they go." Pacifist or not, the final goal for all of us is peace. And that gives me a lot of peace regarding Remembrance Day and it is the reason that I wear a poppy. For all of those who gave their lives for my freedom, today I stop and remember. . .
www.winnipegfreepress.com/arts-and-life/life/faith/yes-im-a-pacifist----and-yes-i-wear-a-poppy-178326201.html
www.winnipegfreepress.com/arts-and-life/life/faith/yes-im-a-pacifist----and-yes-i-wear-a-poppy-178326201.html
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Hunkering Down
I've been waiting for this moment all day long. It was the reason I slept in longer than usual and when I did wake up, I stayed nice and cozy, reading a book in bed for a while. It was the reason I've not been very ambitious in all the things I still need to do this weekend - marking, prepping, cleaning, laundry. It was the reason I was still in pajamas after lunch and why my bed was still not made. Yes, the moment finally arrived - the streets were already icy with freezing rain and as the winds started to pick up, the snow began to fly. A snowstorm was promised and now the moment has finally arrived! All my laziness today is now excusable - it's a storm day! No going out, no make-up on, sweats are the only appropriate attire, cue the Christmas music. . .hunkering down for the first snowstorm of the year!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Risk
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken
because the greatest hazard
in life is to risk nothing.
The person who
risks nothing,
does nothing,
has nothing,
is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and
sorrow, but they cannot
learn,
feel,
change,
grow,
love,
live.
Chained by their certitudes,
they are as a slave,
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
~Anonymous
Saturday, November 3, 2012
What Does It Mean to Be Human? ~ Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Finding the time to read has been a struggle as of late, but I started reading "What Does It Mean to Be Human?" which is the perfect read because it is complied of short responses by a variety of people, giving their own answer to that question. Here is part of Archbishop Desmond Tutu's answer (p. 269 - 272):
"God created you because God loves you. If each of us could grasp this truth and let it take root in us, there would be no place in the world for violence, for inhumanity, for ethnic animosities and genocide, for war and destruction.
For the believers there is no option when faced with injustice, oppression, and racism but to oppose them with every fiber of our being. It is a religious, not a political, duty. Not to do so would be to disobey God. To treat children of God as if they were less than this is not just evil, as undoubtedly it is. It is not just painful, as it must be often for the victim of the injustices of racism and oppression. It is veritably blasphemous, for it is as if we had spit in the face of God.
As God's representatives we are meant to bear rule over the rest of God's creation, not to exploit it harshly and irresponsibly but to bear rule as God would, caringly and compassionately, not being wantonly wasteful of irreplaceable natural resources, not callously polluting the atmosphere and the rivers, but as those who are God's stewards, knowing we will have to give an account of our stewardship.
We are created 'like God' to be creative in our relationships, in our work, in music, in the arts, in drama, in literature, even as gardeners. We can be creative in bringing beauty out of ugliness, peace out of war, harmony out of disharmony, order out of disorder, health out of disease. And we should not look to do what is spectacular and headline-grabbing. The mundane and unobtrusive can be equally wonderful opportunities for exercising our creativity."
"God created you because God loves you. If each of us could grasp this truth and let it take root in us, there would be no place in the world for violence, for inhumanity, for ethnic animosities and genocide, for war and destruction.
For the believers there is no option when faced with injustice, oppression, and racism but to oppose them with every fiber of our being. It is a religious, not a political, duty. Not to do so would be to disobey God. To treat children of God as if they were less than this is not just evil, as undoubtedly it is. It is not just painful, as it must be often for the victim of the injustices of racism and oppression. It is veritably blasphemous, for it is as if we had spit in the face of God.
As God's representatives we are meant to bear rule over the rest of God's creation, not to exploit it harshly and irresponsibly but to bear rule as God would, caringly and compassionately, not being wantonly wasteful of irreplaceable natural resources, not callously polluting the atmosphere and the rivers, but as those who are God's stewards, knowing we will have to give an account of our stewardship.
We are created 'like God' to be creative in our relationships, in our work, in music, in the arts, in drama, in literature, even as gardeners. We can be creative in bringing beauty out of ugliness, peace out of war, harmony out of disharmony, order out of disorder, health out of disease. And we should not look to do what is spectacular and headline-grabbing. The mundane and unobtrusive can be equally wonderful opportunities for exercising our creativity."
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