Ruined

I used to think that my life was ruined because of the abuse I suffered as a child. But now I'm just ruined for Jesus. . .let me explain.

Today was my chance to share during the Sunday worship services at my church about my time away. I could have talked about YWAM and DTS; or about traveling and all the wonderful people I met along the way. But today was the most difficult (I procrastinated preparing until yesterday), because I knew that it was time to talk about ME and MY life. And that's SO much harder in front of people that you know - many who have see me grow up in front of their eyes.

It's hard to speak one's truth, especially when you've been hurt and have hurt others along the way. To have my family in the audience as I talked about the abuse I had kept a secret for so long and, even worse than that, the unforgiveness that consumed my life thereafter. But that is my truth. It's what makes me who I am today. There was another guy who shared this morning about his ministry in New York City: "When you CONNECT with the love of Christ, you're RUINED." Normal is not normal anymore and routine is not routine. It's not about doing another "Christian" thing that looks right to everyone else. It's about being compelled to go out and serve because God's love is overflowing in your own life and you can't help but to share it with others.

So I'm ruined and life will never be the same. Christ has poured his love into my life and it does not matter where I live or what I do, as long as I'm living out His love for others. And when you finally experience this kind of transformation in your life, you just can't go back - there's no settling. When you know there's more and better and richer and deeper in God's plans, who could want anything else? Ruined.