About 9 years ago things erupted within my dad's family and, due to the abuse I had suffered as a child, I cut off all ties with my extended family. It was difficult to do - they only lived 10 minutes from my parents and we attended the same church. I was bitter and angry, and I refused to speak or associate with them. I know that part of the reason I came to this program was to be able to deal with all of this garbage in my life. I finally came to understand that forgiveness was really about setting me free, even though forgiveness had not been asked for from my family.
It made me a little nervous to think about going home at Christmas in this regard. I didn't think that God would require me go to my grandparents place where the abuse had occurred. And so I was left wondering. I let my parents know that I would be willing to speak with the family but only at my parents house.
A miracle happened (well, at least that's the email message that I received from my mom)! There has been no contact either way between my grandparents and me, no birthday or Christmas gifts, nothing over the last 9 years. My grandparents did not even say goodbye to me in April, knowing that I could potentially be gone for 2 years (and they knew the details because of our church). My mom was doing some fundraising for me in church this past Sunday and my grandfather came up to her and handed her a cheque for me. It was the most wonderful birthday gift (not the money) - the door has been opened! And though I know it will be hard, I am hoping for reconciliation and healing to happen at Christmas (which would be the most wonderful Christmas gift!).
what a promising start......
ReplyDeletemarilyn